I lost hera?|
Mood:  bright

Two weeks ago, I got something changed. What was it? Yes, I thought I got a depression. Actually, maybe this disaster has been hidden in my soul long time ago but it revealed itself while the real economic depression occurred. Do they have some inside relations really?  Absolutely not, just kidding.

Those days, which vanished one week ago, I always heard a voice from my head and heart yelling or whispering to me, “ you will die, you will die…” Finally I always repeated to myself, “I will die, I will die…” So I thought if that was the depression? Definitely not. No one defines that the depression should just be linked tightly with the death but sometimes if a person who got the depression, she might to die in some special ways like suicide due to the depression. Actually I do not like to talk about so much hackneyed words including “death” all the time at all but I can just usher you to understand what the real sentiment that you were attached with a terrible thing and how to relinquish it.

My story was about a girl or maybe you can call her a lady cause she said that she is a lady… People who knew me would say, “well, you took it again”. Your habit was that, girls, ladies…You can not shirk that cause if you were free of female stories, that were not you.

Yes, stupid was I…but it is was not is…so I can tell you how to cope with your miserable love story…

I thought that you have been confused by what I composed before. Ok, I will give you a clear way to understand my story which actually is a normal one but not for me.

Two months ago, I moved to Washington DC for my new job, a journalist working for a giant TV station whose headquarter is located in Beijing. I am a special one who possesses a foreign citizenship there only. Actually, I thought before, I was here just for my career and I needed to work and work, no more complaints and no more extra funnies. But the job was really boring, not because the essential working but the lack of the missions. They could not offer more and more news coverings there. But some one who was from Beijing just enjoyed the relax environment. And I, a busy guy always, could not bear that but I have to bear. So what’s the next? Sure, the story was initialed.

A girl, or maybe you can call her lady cause she used to be called a lady but a girl, was nice to talk to every one. But I am a sentimental guy who used to grab something. In the beginning days, I did not take more shots to her cause I thought she was a flat girl who wore unfashionable suits made in China always. 

What made me most impression was her nictations for me several times with intention or maybe not. I was aimed by the nictations, which might tell me that she is lovely. Of course, before that we had some connections, like working together or eating together. But something was changed after several meets. What my feeling was I had lots of topics with her and what she did was more and more eyes communications with me. Obviously, those were maybe just a guessing or an imagination but I regarded those truths. After that while it was two months later after my first arrival of Washington D.C, I thought that both of us were eager to see and to talk to each other, even just with some easy eyesight or simple chatting.

But one night, I made a dream about her and me. The scene was that she was removing her make up inside of the make up unit and she asked me to go inside cause she needed my help. The help was really dreamful and it was that she said that she would remove the black eyes lines drawn before the live on air. She said that she would weep when she removed the lines so she wanted me to hold the tears with my hands holding like a bowl. And in the dream, I really did it and I held those tears really. And of course the dream also made me moved so what I got out of my dream was torn myself. I knew I was missing her even in dreams.

Several minutes later, I forwarded her a message to tell her my dream via the cell phone. But few minutes later, half an hour later and almost two hours later, I didn’t get any responds for my sending message, which could get some replies before. I wondered what happened? It’s only a dream and I didn’t think the dream telling would irritate her. So in the wake of that, I phoned her once and twice and three times in the two days of the weekend but no one picked up the phone at all. I just wonder why? I thought that even you were really busy, you might pick up the phone for only ten seconds probably for telling me you were ok. So I didn’t phone her again after the three times and I thought that my jealous feeling rushed out. I thought I hated her…

In the morning of Monday, I went to work and sit in front of my desk waiting for her. I knew she would be here later today for some personal matters. But I just thought when she appeared, I would tell her my feeling was bad. Near the noon, she jumped into the office through the entrance where could be seen in my seat and she came towards me with a sweet smile and with a hand waving. But what I replied her was just a reluctant smile only and in the next 2 hours, I did not talk to her as usual. But just what I did so made me lose her…I thought. Cause obviously, she did find my cold attitudes for her and then she started to fight against me. And those cold actions she did to me made me really really unbreath which I had ever been offered more than 10 years ago and it occurred also in a love story.

In the lunch, what surprised me happened. Not because she didn’t talk to me or look at me but because she told me the reason why she did not pick up my phone call indirectly. We just sit very closely for the lunch and I could hear her voice clearly. Although she talked to our boss in a light voice, I also could get what she said was she went to another city during the weekend with no time to tell others for an emergency invitation. When I heard what she said almost to the end, I felt so happy that she just intended to hint me that she didn't answer the phones just due to the trip out of the city. I felt such a surprised and also did I regret what I did for her that morning. I turned to light mode immediately but she did not. And it seemed that she couldn't forgive me or pardon me for a while. Then she stood up and said, “I got to go before your guys” with a cold glance at me. I felt just regret without any responds only with my widely opening mouth. But my regret could not stop her. She was gone and my nightmare started.

No more talking, no more smiling and no more, no more were around me, stuck me and belonged to me. And those talking, smiling and more and more went to another group of people, like a senior lady, a support worker or a son’s father but me. What I got when I talked to her in a very positive attitude with so beautiful and sweet a smile was a simple, cold and against ironic which made me no more mood and courage to say one more word, just like being choked by the air. In those two or three days, I scared all the time and I felt like dropping into an iced well full of water and the nippy cold water embracing me from my head to the toe. And then I had to talk to her in a very patient and carefully way maybe I could get something special. I felt that it seemed that yesterday I was a king but now I was not better than a waiter in front of her. Her orgulous attitude made me no more confident and made me lose my feeling at all. So I would always hear that one voice telling me “ you will die…” And finally I said to myself “ I will die…”

Actually, for now I only hate the dream and hate my Scorpio. Can I go back to erase my dream? Can I go back to revise the actions what I did in that Monday morning? Yes it was a black morning for the Dow due to the economic crisis but it should not be the black one for me. My god could you please offer me an inverse hour and let it go backward to the front of my dream? Even though you had to give me the dream but can I not interpret in that motion? Can I stop my finger to type the message? I do not need a girl but I do need a real friend who could be communicating probably just with eyes or gestures. Right, who believes it?

Can you hear that? My girl, what is going on in my MP3, you favorite song “One night in Beijing”. I can’t lose you just like a catfish can’t lose water…

 

Goodness 37
Mood:  a-ok
From my childhood, it was heard from senior people,” 7 is a doomed misfortune number”, hence evacuation of meeting 7 whisked often, when 7 appeared, no matter on what, like Apt. numbers, figures in the streets. Only one word, evading. According to the recent survey, about 38% of the youth, who are educated, trust that 7 is worse than 4, nevertheless, nor the unanimity consented, because some people affirmed that it’s a superstition.

In Canada, there is toppled distinctness, which is 7 is a joviality felicity number, for example, when people initiated a telephone, they were prone to 7, which could be jostled into the numbers. So in my first segment life of the arriving, I always swung to make a decision between the double 7 in term of lucky or not. Ultimately, I endeared 7, because after a musing time, I draw a conclusion that is” do in Rome as Rome does”.

In this year, I am 37 years old, actually, I shouldn’t reveal my age as the custom, but any savvy insiders can penetrate that a lucky 7 is in my age. No, it’s not like the conclusion, which you speculated that I was lucky, of course it was true, but what I intend to narrate is I have been impacting lucky to others with my goodness of the age 37.

For instance, to begin with, I recommended the eligible candidate to some positions at my company. Everybody knows that the process of finding a job in Canada was a bitter reminiscence, which was a plague that nobody could be exclusive. I dare not to say that I saved them and I pulled them out of the abysm.

Then, I urged the boss to pay for them. As we know, Canada is a capital country and no free dinners here, so in the beginning of the staff joining the company, they would be paid noting. It’s usually caustic that the managers implemented the salary and they trended to volunteer the jackarooes. Furthermore, imparting my tactics to novices is radical and the strategies consist of working techniques and the tact of melting with supervisors.

Finally, only did I conserve one culminating elite, which is exclusive, and sweep out others. Because a throne of people jostled the entrance, the opportunities were funneled, finally I could only remain one, who would be honest to me.

Virtual Canada, but a Dummy Community Chinese
Mood:  celebratory


Almost the end of 2005, veterans of Toronto initiate to draft plans for the celebrating events, which are filled with vaudevilles usually performed by phony players who were home wife, which likes to sing at home, or immediacy amateurs. This is a genuine Chinese community, which more and more mandarin speakers jostle to live, but for a long time, new generation have remained stained heritages, which are dull and smug.

Joseph has told her story about her encounter, which happened in the Spring Festival Show last year. She said that it was like a challenge between the experts and dawdlers, and the consequence was a paradox. That means she didn’t win, because her talent, which was devoted, resembled killing fly by a rifle.

Joseph was from a well-known TV station in Hong Kong and she was a producer on stage as well as a host. Till the end of 2004, she has been here for 1 year, which is an adequate time for being acquaintance with local people. Her affirmation from the observation about the community is that the Chinese community is a dummy community without less prosperity in both mentality and property. People here are divided into two portions distinguishingly by the attitude to her. One was like the hawkish who appraised Joseph like a summit in the media at least here and another gang, which are the rivals, were vigorously and combatively skeptics with outmoded syndrome, which are they never accepted and identify with the elite who maybe exceed them. The opponents speculated every experience about Joseph into doubts and gossiped her inflammatorily. They always made some rumors in hostility, “Joseph was neither a host nor a director…” and finally they said in immediacy, “Joseph was not from Hong Kong”. And Joseph replied an irony, that was, yes, I grew up on the moon.

What did Joseph stimulate the veterans and what was the potential frustration would happen. A biography of Joseph may explain the particular. Allegedly, Joseph graduated from a famous University for study communication in Hong Kong, after that she began to work at a culminating local satellite TV station as a reporter, host and producer. In the past 10 year work, she got lots of awarded and acclaim from audience. She never thought that she was famous and culminating, on the contrary, she pondered that she should return to the academic for researching more orthodox education abroad. That was why she came to Toronto and why some conservative people here excluded her and some people gave her an implication, which was you’d better go to Vancouver.

Eventually, Joseph won, she never cared about the obsolete malapropisms, and she ushered people here to develop cosmopolitan communication among diversity culture, simultaneously, she imposed regularity of the study in a master degree. She knows that who wants to be breathtaking, who must be painstaking.

Clear Canada?
Mood:  blue
Clear Canada?

Joviality and jubilation is coming, because the Liberal government was collapsed and the campaign is looming. The Canadian is expecting dynastic changes and this is the potential causation by a poll, not only the corruption, which made the Liberal toppled. People merely endure the simmer of the sluggish government, which had been reigned for 13 years, without prominent achievement. Canadian is fervently eager to elect a new government with hawkish cabinet, who is the grim and imminent opponent.

The liberal, who ignited a sponsorship 2 years ago when Martin was the fiscal minister, now will face their cruel fatality. It’s said, stopping advancing means the setback. Reviewing to the past years, no more advantages flamboyant virtually erupted, when people urged to be educated, to live with stable occupations and lower tax. Sociologists said, Martin had been asleep during his times, because just take a glance at the appearance of vessel streets, which are obsolete and decrepit, without disposal for many years. People can’t endure undermined infrastructures and they forward inquiry to government if the tax goes to the sewage?

On the contrary, the opponent party has alleged vividly, if they win in the campaign, they will cut the tax and put some people, who were involved and guilty in the scandal sponsorship into the jail, because it’s unfair that you got something without paying.

Maybe what described above is the democracy, apparently, to be toppled by any fault of the dominator and contributions to people is the vocations of reigns. When collapse occurred, denouncing, condemned offences and even scorns slammed the doomed governing. A nightmare to the vulnerable checkmating party is looming.

It’s comparable between China and Canada in term of the corruption. Some people said, “oh, fewer corruption than china”. Oh, Really? Can I give you an irony? It is if we can say that a patient, who has a cancer, has a smaller one than others and this patient could spree, because he has fewer than others. Absolutely not, because no matter how big it is, it’s a fatal cancer and even though only one cell of it could be jeopardy. Equivalently, the corruption is a corruption no matter what kind of it is, nobody could plead that small one or fewer of it might be acquitted.

A MC with lots of applause
Mood:  bright
Am I an MC? Somebody said, no, you are only a reporter and what the best is a standing up host. Which kind of MC is an MC? Is it so discriminating among the Anchor, the host or a reporter? Apparently, it’s said that unprofessional knows the facial shallow, but professional knows the spirit, when the performance is going on. Nobody is professional generically from the born date and anybody should have enormous effort to work and obtain the experience. I was a small reporter long time ago and I trained myself with painstaking, which you must work day to night without complain and you must endure what you paid but nothing you got, because your boss had the privilege to occupy the achievement by your endeavor.

Along with the spiral of earth in the galaxy, things are so overturn that I have nothing to say and it just shows that I am getting mature than the past days. Before that which I was in domestic, I misunderstood that I had already reached the fringe of the blessedness, because I had a good position at a unique TV station in my country and I have a family with my wife and son, admired by people. I sunk my self into a sweet routine life supported by my job, but actually I was like a frog that was in a murky well, only was there a sky as big as the mouth of the well in front of my eyes.

Without a reason, I went abroad in 2001 with intended absence of saying good bye, scaring to see the weep. After landing, initially I became a new immigrant jostling in a swarm and people in Toronto were unaccustomed the life just like me, no matter where they were from. All of my existence is related to the media, which are the immense potential market both in China and Canada. The tremendous difference is that the population, which are 40 times magnitude in term of two countries. An MC who works in China will win a lot of applause, but fewer responding in Toronto. On the contrary, because many people want to act themselves as MC, the competition contends in a culminating prosperity, but the essential quantity is disappointed.

The Anchor is a host who is sitting in the on air studio, announcing the news script with a broadcast tune-pattern, no blemishes allowing, and usually they have a perfect voice and a televisable face. A host usually is qualified to do a talk show program with ripostes and being replied by acclaims. I am a triple host that is an anchor, a host and a reporter.( to be continued)

Chinese Public Activities in Toronto
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Chinese Public Activities in Toronto
In recent year, because the Montreal City, which was the No. 1 city in Canada before its intention of independence, lost the flourish economic status, many firms relinquished the unstable environment and jostled into Toronto. Swarms of people moved to Toronto and the new migrations have got immediacies of landing in Toronto. No doubts, Chinese immigrants transferred themselves as quickly as possible, as they have an initiated character, which is gregarious.

In 2005, which a year when China is blooming for the economic as an initial rising, there are many activities like ceremonies, events and conferences that belong to governments or the communities in Toronto, which is called the China City on the world just like the China Town in a foreign city. Obviously, the activities are often held by Chinese and also Chines people are in attendance.

Many people like to show up in the entirely various occasions or similar ones. Apparently they intend to creative much more opportunities to meet new faces that are maybe to cooperate sometime. Nevertheless, they will never forget to make a gossip with their acquaintances that are fervently waiting for listening too.

Usually people who will to appear in the parties consist of 3 aspects. The first affirms the new members who want to make friends and look for a job. The second is called veteran of society, they must frequently emerge to tell others, not only am I important, but also I am alive. The third demands to jostle them into the strange environment swiftly and make their face familiar much more.

If you like, you can participate in any kind activities, such as ceremonies, events and family parties. Ceremonies are free and non-free, depending on the service of dinner or not. Encouraged by a personal meeting in my company, I decided to join a ceremony in the day of Chinese Moon Festival, 2005, with my curiosity about how the participators enjoy themselves. According to my strategy, I will observe the style of the dinner, the figure of the people and the conversation that they might refer to. Fortunately, I got what I want, by talking, eating and dancing with other people who were reminiscent. It didn’t resemble the foreign party that requests the guest must be full dress, the guests there could put on the clothes homemade, for celebrating folk festival. Simultaneously, eating Chinese food and talking reminiscently enjoyed unanimity, but you should stand and be on line to wait for delicious, because it was over members in the hall. 30 dollars a night, it’s worthy to join and to pay, even though you couldn’t eat adequate food, but you got a nice eve and it’s not an irony.

Let’s do a math on how many events occurred in the past summer, there were nearly 10 events per month and the results are almost 30 in the summer. If somebody is full of energy, he can join all including some home entertaining, which you must prepare food. The family party is a typical foreign style dinner, which is like a BBQ sometimes, you should bring something, which was alternative from your kitchen or stores. These parties always provocative the sole people here, because they live alone and they are boring with eating lonely. In the party, people can share the delicious with several tastes.

These are not the entire aspects of Chinese activities in Toronto, but they illustrate that Chinese people are ardently in communication and they have huge passion in life. The amount of parties is growing along the ascent of population. Hence, more money allows more fascinating occurring. Moreover, people who use their vast resources to acquire time on it, maybe can multiply the prodigious market.

Internet overturning merit
Mood:  sharp
The progress of Human being is mostly related with the technological development. The steam machine brought people the power and the light bulb gave us bright in the evening. In the years of 1990, Bill Gates began to fabricate a web on the world and it has covered almost everywhere now.
If we comment the internet about the wide meaning, I think that we can illustrate 3 important contributions of it. The first one, the internet shrinks the distance on the world. The second one is that the internet makes it possible to obtain reference and compile database from various institutes. The last one, it is blooming now just like the old media and it pushes itself into the media market, which has to be allotted again by the new one, internet.

Actually, the internet has changing my life and work since it shows up. The functions which we talk above are simmering my life in whole aspects. How does it shorten the space among the continents and the oceans? Do you have a relative on the other side of the earth? If yes, you must miss her very well. Of course you can hear her, but you can’t see her and you should afford a high expenditure of the costs on the international connections before. How does the internet work? It can be connected anytime with a video and audio combination now and it’s cheaper. Not only does a gossip occur by it, but also some significant items can be negotiated by it, such as signing a contrast between merchants. It also alters traditional routines into epoch making activities, which are long distance educations and remote medical diagnosis.

I am the person who was benefited by the internet long distance study. In Sep.1998, I registered an English course in London, England and it’s not expensive, because I needn’t pay the fee for the travel tickets and for the dormitory. It is a good sample to illustrate that the internet is a fantasy gear to economize. Sometime just one school is not enough, it’s like an isolate island. The internet helps people interact in exchanging the information. It offers us a searching engine, whatever content you want, just looking for it beneath the web page.

Besides study, it really entertains you, when you are surfing. I am good at international chess and I found a web site that is a family of lovers in chess. Nobody can see others, but we can communicate by inputting simple words into a strip blank under the main game campaign. At the time of playing, I can imagine that my rival must enjoy her coffee just like the tea in my hand.

Along with the rapid evolution, which includes the population of user and the multi-media’s request, the veterans of software have realized the capacity of transmitting video and audio data stream, so that the online TV becomes a new born media on the Internet. I am a host and a reporter at TV station and now I am devoting myself into the net TV, which is being called the 4th media.

The internet changes your work and life into another overturning status, which is like a living space in your before dreams. The much more merit of it has provocated a great competition on the visible net, thousands of millions web site were built up and various software and games erupt like the bamboo shoot after the rain. In 1995, the internet emerged in China and I was so curious about it. I was fervently caring about it and I set up a web site on a free space eventually. My web side was a diversity home, like a warm family and it obtained 1000 hits per day at that time.

The internet should be going ahead in the future, because the discovery which people are pounding now, has ushered us into a new field, like the Mars and other planets in the universal area. People believe that the painstaking for the technological development will ultimately be breathtaking.

You are welcome
Nice to meet you here. Can you give us some advice on how to make good Chinese TV programs all over the world?